c’est la vie

heartbreak, human nature, and the stories we judge too quickly

All this noise around the Summer House drama, specifically targeting the decisions of Amanda Batula and I keep waiting to feel what everyone else seems to be feeling and I just don’t land there.

It’s not that I don’t see the hurt. I do. It is clearly there. Hearts break. People feel blindsided. The future someone thought they had, just disappears. That part is real and human and deserves a bit of compassion.

But also, what if this is exactly how it was supposed to go?

What if something that looks messy, even selfish, even wrong from the outside ends up being the most honest thing someone has ever done?

We don’t actually know. We only know what it looks like through our own lens and most of us are looking through lenses built on our own fears, our own stories, our own “this is how it should be.”

And I think sometimes we lose faith in the idea that life is working through us. That not everything aligned arrives wrapped in something pretty.

Sometimes it is really messy, feels like betrayal and like everything is falling apart at once.

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We’ve seen this story before.

It plays out in our favorite movies all the time. The Family Stone, where Sarah Jessica Parker’s character ends up with the brother, and the sister ends up with the other brother.

Or Something Borrowed — best friends, blurred lines, feelings that were always there but finally come to the surface.

Or even Pearl Harbor, the two best friends, one woman, love and loss all tangled together.

And then all the shows we grew up on
Dawson’s Creek — Joey, Dawson, Pacey
90210 - Kelly, Brenda, Dylan

We see it on screen, and we see it in the way people rush to choose sides. Left, right, this person, that person...like every story needs a team to stand on.

COME ON. Like...this is the plot. We romanticize it when it’s on screen.

And don’t even get me started on the real-life versions...widows who end up with the best friend, lives that shift in ways no one planned.

We know this story. We just don’t like it as much when it’s real. And still...on the other side of heartbreak is usually something that couldn’t come in any other way...

self-worth
clarity
truth

and cue my go to mantra...”what is meant for you won’t miss you.” (which, I know can feel like the most annoying sentence in the world when you’re in it).

But it’s also the thing that brings you back to yourself.

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And more questions I have...

Are we calling something loyalty when it’s actually self-abandonment?

Like...to be a “good friend,” a “girl’s girl,” do you have to ignore your own feelings? Tuck them away. Shrink them down. Not act on what you want. Pretend they’re not there so someone else doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable?

Or are we allowed to be human and honest and messy even when it disrupts everything? Because the biggest growth I’ve ever experienced and witnessed has never come from everything going smoothly.

It comes from the moments that crack everything open. The ones that are reckless and confusing. The ones you can’t tie up neatly with a bow or explain in a way that makes everyone happy.

The ones where, yes...maybe someone gets hurt. And everyone has to figure out how to carry that forward in their own way.

I don’t know, maybe we’re all just playing roles in each other’s lives.

Triggering things.
Clearing things.
Unraveling old patterns.

Call it karma, call it timing, call it being human, but there’s movement in it.

What feels heavier to me is the energy online around it.

The hate. The pile-on. The way people, most specifically women hating on another woman, bringing someone down about their faults while also preaching love in the next breath.

Both can exist, you can feel upset, protective, even angry. But love, real love, has space in it. It is unconditional.

Can we just allow space for people to make mistakes? Space for people to follow something they don’t fully understand yet? Space for people to completely f*ck things up and learn something because of it?

Yes, it could have been handled better. But sometimes our human doesn’t know how to do the “right” thing...the “right” way.

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At the end of the day, everyone has to live with their choices, everyone carries their own emotional aftermath and everyone is responsible for what they do next.

Let people choose. Let people grieve. Let people fall. Let people grow. And trusting that life is doing something bigger than what we can see from the outside.

I love a little drama.

I actually stepped away from reality TV for a few years because it didn’t feel good in my body. Now I come back to it almost like...a study.

Human nature on display. How we love, attach, project, judge—it’s all there,

and maybe that’s why this one stuck with me, because underneath the gossip, there’s something real happening.

Amanda is just a girl figuring her life out. A dysfunctional marriage. Feelings shifting. Crushes forming. She doesn’t fully know what she’s doing, she’s just living HER life.

Let the girl cause a little ruckus. Honestly, I’d love to see her smoking in public in a t-shirt that says “f*ck all of you” or “bad decisions,” doing whatever she wants and losing people along the way—knowing the right ones will stay if that’s what it costs.

Play NO VICTIM.

Because as women...we’ve been so conditioned to be the “good girl,” the “girl’s girl,” the one who keeps the peace.

Maybe we need a little disruption.

And if they’re true friends, they’ll find their way back. And if they aren’t...then the chapter closes. And in the words of Bethany Frankel, “it doesn’t matter”

Some chapters hurt like hell. AND we are here to experience it all.

C’est la vie.

xP